How many times have you heard (or maybe even said) the phrase, “There are no good guys left”? It’s easy to feel this way when you’ve been through heartbreak and disappointment. But today, I want to share something important with you: there’s a secret to finding a high-quality partner. Before I reveal it, let me take you through my personal journey—what my life was like before I learned this secret.

Here’s the truth:

• I failed at marriage three times.
• I had more meaningless dates and relationships than I care to admit.

And the cost of those failed relationships?

• My relationship with my daughter suffered.
• I felt like an embarrassment and a burden to my family and friends.
• I confused my children’s understanding of healthy relationships, serving as a negative role model, and possibly impacting their future relationships and emotional well-being.
• I neglected my professional development and career.
• I lost my dignity and self-respect.
• I gained weight.
• I compromised my values.
• My reputation was affected.
• My credit was ruined and rebuilt three times.
• I got pregnant by a man who had no intention of being in a long-term relationship with me, and tragically, my daughter passed away 30 minutes after she was born (RIP Lauryn Phillips).

These experiences left me feeling broken, lost, and hopeless.

But then, I learned the secret.

Once I internalized this truth, everything began to change:

• My confidence increased.
• I finally felt proud of myself for getting it right.
• I felt excited to share my new partner with my family and friends.
• My children can now see what a healthy relationship looks like, and I’m able to be the positive role model they deserve.
• My values are now reinforced by my partner’s support.
• I’ve grown substantially in my career thanks to my partner’s encouragement and my renewed sense of self-worth.
• Together, my partner and I have accomplished more than we ever could alone.
• I’m still struggling with my weight…but now, it’s for a completely different reason!

So, what’s the secret? Here it is: The problem isn’t that there are no good guys left—the problem was me.

Now, if you’re stuck in a prideful or victim mindset, you might reject this idea outright. You might think, “There’s no way I’m the problem.” I get it because I used to think the same thing. But here’s the hard truth: every day I spent living in emotional chaos, I chose to be there.

The truth, my friends, is this: NOTHING changes in your life unless YOU change.

It wasn’t until I took ownership of my choices, my actions, and my mindset that I was able to turn things around. When you stop blaming others and start focusing on your own growth, everything changes.

If you’re ready to take control of your life and relationships, let’s begin this journey together. You deserve a partner who values and supports you, and it all starts with YOU. Let’s break free from the belief that there are no good men left and start attracting the right kind of partner by making the right changes within ourselves.

Join my Facebook group, “Secrets to Attracting a High-Quality Man,” where we dive deeper into these lessons and learn how to cultivate the life and relationships we deserve.