Ladies, itโs time we have an honest conversation about emotionally unavailable men. Why do so many of us seem to attract them? The truth is, it often stems from our own unresolved pasts. Many women have experienced negative or traumatic relationships, and the energy from those past experiences lingers. This fear of repeating past mistakes creates emotional walls, signaling to men that trust issues are at play. In response, they become reluctant to put their emotions on the table.
If you havenโt fully processed your past experiences, you might find yourself stuck in a cycle of attracting men who canโt offer you the emotional connection you need. You see, we donโt attract what we want, we attract who we are. If youโre emotionally unavailable yourselfโstill holding onto past hurts or fearsโyouโll continue to draw in men who mirror that same energy.
Letโs talk about past relationships. I know many of us are tempted to bring up our exes on dates, but hereโs my advice: Donโt talk about your ex until youโve processed your past. If youโre still in a victim mindset, unable to acknowledge your role in the relationshipโs breakdownโwhether itโs tolerating bad behavior for too long or trying to change someoneโyouโre not ready to engage in a healthy, emotionally available relationship.
The Real Reason Men Are Emotionally Unavailable
Just like us, men carry trauma and emotional wounds from their pasts. They may have experienced heartbreak or learned from a young age that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. Societal conditioning plays a huge role here. Men are often taught to be stoic and strong, leaving little room for emotional expression. Add in work stress, an avoidant attachment style, or the need to maintain control, and it becomes clear why so many men struggle to be emotionally available.
But hereโs the thing: you donโt have time to waste trying to fix someone who isnโt ready to open up emotionally. If youโre emotionally mature and looking for a meaningful connection, why would you settle for someone whoโs not on your level?
We Attract Who We Are, Not What We Want
If you desire an emotionally available man, you need to become emotionally available yourself. Work on effectively communicating your thoughts and emotions. If youโre still attracting men who are emotionally closed off, itโs time to reevaluate. Why are you spending your valuable time on someone who canโt meet you where you are?
Itโs like dating someone who works at Burger King when youโre the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Youโre simply on different levels, and that disparity will show in your relationship. Similarly, if youโre emotionally mature, you wonโt relate well to someone whoโs emotionally distant. You deserve a partner who can meet you at your level of emotional availability.
The Bottom Line
Stop wasting your time on emotionally unavailable men. If youโre constantly finding yourself in relationships where youโre the one doing all the emotional labor, itโs time to step back and reflect. You deserve more than just โgood enough.โ You deserve a partner whoโs open, vulnerable, and willing to connect on a deep emotional level.
And donโt forgetโtomorrow, Iโll be sharing five ways you can encourage emotional availability in your relationships. Be sure to join my FB group (link attached) to receive those tips! Donโt miss out on learning how to cultivate the emotional connection you truly deserve.
Final Thoughts
Ladies, let me knowโdo you agree or disagree? Are you tired of wasting your time on emotionally unavailable men? How are you working on attracting the emotionally available partner you truly deserve?